I can breath now

What makes you, you?
What stirs life inside of you?

I know what those things are for me. Crafts, baking, playing with the boys, laughing with girlfriends, cuddling with my not-so-cuddly hubby, embracing nature (walk, hike, swim), lunches with friends, worshiping loudly (alone!), taking pictures, running, and watching movies...

I know what those things are for me. I know what rejuvenates my spirit. So why don't I do it as much as I should or need to? Why do I let myself feel completely depleted and wondering where "I" have gone? Because I'm not a priority for me. Because thinking of me first is selfish. Isn't it?

But then I do it. I take that step. I craft or I hit the movies (by myself) or whatever, but I do it. I do it because there's a voice screaming inside my head that I need something and pouring myself over others is not it. I do it. I take the couple of hours and I do it. And I feel like a part of me has just woken up from a deep nap. I feel like myself. I feel a peace, a calm that's been missing because... let's face it, when you are doing for everyone there's little time for peace and calm.

Why do I feel so guilty when all I want to do is Tons of other women do and do and do for others and they don't need this special time. Or do they? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe those women feel the same way I do. Or maybe they don't. Does it matter?

I need my oxygen. I need the mask before I can help you with yours.
I put the mask on first... and now I'm ready to put yours, and yours, and yours, and yours on next...
Cause I can breath now.
Can you?