Monday, December 9, 2019

Half a Century of Life



Brian isn’t on social media and rarely does a person get to publicly brag about their spouse so I’m taking this opportunity to do it today.

Brian and I met through E-Harmony about 10 years ago. His profile picture was nothing great… really, I could barely make out his face, it was the way he answered the following question that had me. It said “What inspires you?” and he answered “My sister and her family, because they live for the Lord.”

That’s when I knew I wanted to meet him and his family.
I asked Brian how he knew he wanted to meet me… and he answered “Because you were cute and you wanted to talk to me.” So there’s that.

It saddens me to know that I’ve only been able to be part of the last decade of his life because there’s a ton I’ve missed out on.

I missed out on his childhood… Brian is the youngest of three kids, there’s Barb, then Bob, and then Brian. In the past few years I’ve gotten to know them and hear stories about their childhood. It’s pretty all-American and to this Canadian, it sounds fascinating. Bob did tell me that Brian went through a bit of an exploratory stage as a kid, flushing his Winnie the Pooh down the toilet and then later one turtle… Bob suspects it was more than one… Ryan, you might to watch him a bit more around your turtle…

And then there were glow in the dark superball wars in the basement in Minnesota. Brian, you know the kids are going to want to know the details of this later!

I missed out on his teen years… Brian was a natural athlete, found his love for rock and roll, was a popular kid, court warming king, had plenty of friends, nice to everyone, and had a very busy social life. You know… the kid 1980’s teen movies center around.

I missed out on his early adult years… working a few jobs to keep up with his shampoo consumption… and I missed out on Amelia’s earlier childhood years…

During those early adult years, Barb and her family along with others prayed hard that Brian would come to Christ. While living in California, in 2007 Brian accepted Christ into his life. I truly believe his sister and so many others who had been praying for him diligently for years have a huge hand in his Salvation story and for that, I am so grateful. In 2008 Brian moved back to Kansas City and was baptized. Oddly enough a little boy he would meet 2 years later, and a few miles away made the same decision on the same day.

I did miss out on a lot but I truly believe God’s plan is the best plan. And to be honest, had we known each other during some of those years, it would have been illegal to date anyway.
Meeting in 2010 was God’s perfect timing for both of us. March Madness had just wrapped up and baseball was about to start in a week. Brian was bored and I was dared by Todd to join E-Harmony so we jumped on over a free weekend and started chatting...

Brian, I’ve seen you grow in all kinds of different ways in the last, nearly 10 years. When we first started dating you told me you were always willing to learn and grow and I truly appreciate that, but you had much more to teach.

For example, who knew that nearly every conversation can include a story about Everybody Loves Raymond or Friends? I’ve also learned that the dishes need to be washed before being put in the dishwasher to wash and that there is a secret way to load the dishwasher that the 5 other people in the house are incapable of understanding. I’ve also learned that I have not truly mastered the art of a Beste Bargain and that maybe, just maybe I’ll someday be able to shop like you do. You’ve also taught me that there are sports on tv every single day at every single hour. That’s kind of mind blowing. And that visiting baseball stadiums is actually a thing people do… repeatedly. And lastly, you’ve taught me that sarcasm is an art, one that shouldn’t offend me but that I should embrace.

You’ve taught the kids that lectures can really only have one point, and that point can and should be repeated for a large amount of time. That QuikTrip really does have everything they can possibly need, that courtesy flushes are a must, that they should learn something at school, and that they need to know their audience.

And then there are things you have learned from those around you…

6 years ago you joined a Saturday morning men’s group – you wanted a group of guys to keep you accountable and be in community with. Not only do you share your lives together, but I have seen you grow as a father, husband, and leader because of them. You guys share stumbles and successes and rumor has it you’ve been known to talk about your favorite and sometimes expensive underwear… Either way, I’m thankful for these guys who love and support you.

We both know step-parenting is challenging and rewarding all at once and you’ve embraced the good and the bad. You love the boys like your own, whether they want you to or not. You’ve invested yourself in their lives – all of it. You’ve walked through the highs and lows with me and you’ve been my steady when I wanted to flail around. I know I don’t make it easy on you and I’ve given you plenty of outs, but you’ve stuck through it because you believe in our family, all of it.

Brian, thank you for living the story of the prodigal son and for coming home to your heavenly father over a decade ago. You opened up your heart to me in a time where you were still discovering what that looked like. You trusted me with your story of redemption and grace and I am blessed because of it. You truly are my very best friend.

Oh… and you’re hot and I love you more. Happy birthday, Brian!