Growing Pains

The new schedule starts officially this weekend. I find myself filled with anxiety and sadness. This is what it's come down to, isn't it? Every other weekend without them. I hate that.

It bothers me when it's refered to as a "break" by friends and family trying to comfort me. I hate being away from them for a whole weekend. Sure one afternoon here or there so that I can do the groceries or shopping on my own would be great, but I find such comfort in just being with them. They are mine, ours.

I feel strong about decisions being made until this happens. I know it's just another part of the "process" - the new dynamic of our lives, but it still stinks.

Sure I have plans this weekend, things to keep me busy but why is it that all my mind fills itself with are thoughts of laying on the couch and eating junk food until I get to see them again. Crazy, I know.

I also don't like that it's probably how he feels when he doesn't have them and that makes me feel sad for him - for the entire situation. This isn't how I pictured my life to be, but I find comfort in knowing that this is just a growing pain and in the end, it will be just as it was supposed to.