I have his sense of humor.
I have her drive.
I have his sense of organization.
I have her creativity.
I have his love of nature.
I have her sensitivity.
I have his tender heart.
I have her love of reading.
I have his love of music.
I have her hands.
I have his eyes.
I have their love.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Devoted
Last night's devotion was another thought provoking one. In short it stated that we should be devoted to the person (God) and not the cause. We should mimic Paul as he saw nothing else, lived for nothing else.
I often find myself devoted to the cause. The event I'm working on, the person who needs my help, the next project, the next thing. As these "projects" are underway, I get caught up in the excitement and thrill of them. I need to be more purposeful and take time to remember, throughout the project, that the reason these things excite me is because God blessed me with gifts and through those gifts (organization, creativity, etc) I can execute projects for His glory. The focus should always be Him and the events or projects are for Him.
I am not doing the work for the things I love but the things I love for Him.
I often find myself devoted to the cause. The event I'm working on, the person who needs my help, the next project, the next thing. As these "projects" are underway, I get caught up in the excitement and thrill of them. I need to be more purposeful and take time to remember, throughout the project, that the reason these things excite me is because God blessed me with gifts and through those gifts (organization, creativity, etc) I can execute projects for His glory. The focus should always be Him and the events or projects are for Him.
I am not doing the work for the things I love but the things I love for Him.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Understanding Father
I received a new devotional and being the neurotic person that I am, I couldn't start it until January 1st. I was afraid it might be a little over my head and, honestly, some of it is and I have to read it 2-3 times in order to really understand what I'm supposed to be learning. With that being said, I love it because it challenges me and gets me thinking. A couple of weeks ago I read one that really had me thinking. Here's the last paragraph for that particular day:
We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves; it is the last conceit to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say, "Oh, I am so unworthy", because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure of that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until He gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections - things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them.
I'm drawn by the words. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections - things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. That is so completely beautiful. I've never heard it said this way and it's moving. God wants me. He wants my undivided attention. I pray that I respond with my entire heart. That I humble myself to Him and His Word. That He pushes all conceit and pride out of my life so that I can make the most of my time alone with Him.
We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves; it is the last conceit to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say, "Oh, I am so unworthy", because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure of that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until He gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections - things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them.
I'm drawn by the words. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections - things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. That is so completely beautiful. I've never heard it said this way and it's moving. God wants me. He wants my undivided attention. I pray that I respond with my entire heart. That I humble myself to Him and His Word. That He pushes all conceit and pride out of my life so that I can make the most of my time alone with Him.
Friday, January 14, 2011
God and me
God has a plan for me. Proverbs 16:1-4; Jeremiah 29:11
God wants good things for me. Romans 8:31
God loves me. John 3:16
God is with me. Isaiah 41:10
God is in control. God is in control. God is in control.
The last statement's the one I have to cling to the most. There are many but one thing I better understand my issues with control. I'm normally not a crazy controlling witch, however when my world shifts (in my mind it's kind of like an earthquake, where things shake and shift and crack and sometimes fall apart) my controlling "part" comes out. In order to make my heart/mind feel better this part of myself will do whatever it takes to settle my soul. Honestly, I lived the last few years of my marriage with my control issues front and center. I didn't feel secure.
I'm feeling a bit of that creeping back up and I see that I'm doing and thinking things that are out of character for me. I'm doing the only thing I know to do. Pray.
God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. And I am not.
That being said. Please excuse any psychotic (out of character) behavior I may subject you to - I'm still learning.
God wants good things for me. Romans 8:31
God loves me. John 3:16
God is with me. Isaiah 41:10
God is in control. God is in control. God is in control.
The last statement's the one I have to cling to the most. There are many but one thing I better understand my issues with control. I'm normally not a crazy controlling witch, however when my world shifts (in my mind it's kind of like an earthquake, where things shake and shift and crack and sometimes fall apart) my controlling "part" comes out. In order to make my heart/mind feel better this part of myself will do whatever it takes to settle my soul. Honestly, I lived the last few years of my marriage with my control issues front and center. I didn't feel secure.
I'm feeling a bit of that creeping back up and I see that I'm doing and thinking things that are out of character for me. I'm doing the only thing I know to do. Pray.
God is in control. God is in control. God is in control. And I am not.
That being said. Please excuse any psychotic (out of character) behavior I may subject you to - I'm still learning.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
When the fight begins
The fight never really begins at the beginning. Marriage, pregnancy, divorce, cancer... life. The fight begins later. When you least expect it. When you think you have it all figured out. Decisions have been made, paths forged and plans set, that's when the fight begins. It's in those days who you are is revealed, when you and everyone else witnesses your weaknesses and strengths.
Making a decision can seem difficult but the actual execution of it is what takes work. My dad's fight with cancer is a perfect example. Knowing he had cancer didn't take work, deciding what to do wasn't a huge step but now... fighting to recover, willing, praying, hoping his body into what is now his new "normal", takes work. Finding a new life after so much has been physically taken away - that's the fight.
I think about my life decisions. My reaction to major life changes. I know myself well enough and cringe at the thought of some of my weaknesses but I also know that my strengths are what carry me through life ,with faith being my best strength. I pray that my children will learn to forgive my weaknesses and learn from my strengths and that you will too.
2 Corinthians 8:21
For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.
Making a decision can seem difficult but the actual execution of it is what takes work. My dad's fight with cancer is a perfect example. Knowing he had cancer didn't take work, deciding what to do wasn't a huge step but now... fighting to recover, willing, praying, hoping his body into what is now his new "normal", takes work. Finding a new life after so much has been physically taken away - that's the fight.
I think about my life decisions. My reaction to major life changes. I know myself well enough and cringe at the thought of some of my weaknesses but I also know that my strengths are what carry me through life ,with faith being my best strength. I pray that my children will learn to forgive my weaknesses and learn from my strengths and that you will too.
2 Corinthians 8:21
For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of man.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
2011 thus far
2011, I think you're a keeper. In these first 5 days I've been content with you. I've found you to be quite calming compared to your brother, 2010.
I like to think it's the year and not my age (ha!) that has made my heart and soul calmer, richer. Topics that made my heart anxious and nervous in 2010 don't have the same effect in 2011. I feel rested in my head. Don't get me wrong, there are still a billion thoughts constantly swirling up there, but they aren't screaming for attention, for comfort. They are just swirling. Giving me things to think about.
I feel, strangely enough, more stable. More sure of myself. Lots of plans and things I'd like to do, but at the same time, I don't feel rushed to do them. I know that 2011, like any other year, will have it's own ups and downs; that it makes no promises for an easy ride and I look forward to it all.
I like to think it's the year and not my age (ha!) that has made my heart and soul calmer, richer. Topics that made my heart anxious and nervous in 2010 don't have the same effect in 2011. I feel rested in my head. Don't get me wrong, there are still a billion thoughts constantly swirling up there, but they aren't screaming for attention, for comfort. They are just swirling. Giving me things to think about.
I feel, strangely enough, more stable. More sure of myself. Lots of plans and things I'd like to do, but at the same time, I don't feel rushed to do them. I know that 2011, like any other year, will have it's own ups and downs; that it makes no promises for an easy ride and I look forward to it all.
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