Wounds

I am the kind of person who can get along with anybody. I'll find a common ground and build upon it. I like people. All kinds of people from all walks of life.

For the last couple of days, I've been really struggling with why I would be downright rude with someone I've only been around 3-4 times. I was mean. Really mean. I felt so justified in my anger even when I knew in my head (and even verbalized it) that it really didn't make any sense. So why?

I have been thinking about this person for the past couple of days. And I figured it out. I now know why he rubs me the wrong way. I know why, with the limited knowledge that I have of him, there's something that I know that I can't move past.

I thought my wound had healed. But it's a pretty deep one. And to think it was completely healed was pretty naive of me.

Funny, isn't it? When you've been hurt, when you've worked hard on healing, stitching your heart back together, giving it away again... and then find out that you missed some pieces. That the thought of your wound, your experience, still makes your stomach churn and your eyes well up with tears.

So I'm not "over it". The wound has not healed. It aches less than it did, but it's still there. And I feel horrible that because of my insecurities and hurts, I can't get past some tings that I don't agree with concerning my future friend.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9