I'm back... well sort of.

I tend to feel one of two things when I leave D's office on Monday morning - either overwhelmed or rejuvinated. Today I feel rejuvinated. Something clicked. Actually a few things clicked.

I mentioned that I had had a great weekend with the boys all to myself. That we had visited with a friend from our old neighborhood, played outside on Saturday (Reece found a new friend at our complex!) and that I had dinner/playdate with my SIL and how we had just lounged around on Sunday. It was a really great weekend. And she pointed out that I had pretty much been a hermit crab for a while... and I realized that I have been. I haven't been going "out" with people that I love, that's unlike me. I haven't been connecting with the outside world. I have been clinging to the one person who I know totally "gets" me and whom I feel 110% comfortable with, but there is a whole other world I dropped when my world fell apart. I also talked about how I poured over some magazines that I love and it sparked a little more "life" into my soul and gave me a new creative perspective.

And to top it all off, I'm starting to understand "Parts" a little more (http://www.selfleadership.org/node/7285) and I feel like I can recognize where I am and where I've been because of them. It's totally cool now to understand why I do certain things, say certain things when that's not at all what I mean. I'm also learning that I am in a "Manager" part a lot and I'm learning how to get myself out of that with D's help. Knowing that I'm growing, understanding and able to make changes is SO refreshing and amazing. But before I get to carried away, I know I still have A LOT to learn and do to get to where I need to be. I think for a while I was looking at the mountain, understanding the mountain and now I'm ready to start climbing the mountain. Woohoo!

On a side note, not only am I understanding when I was in a part (trying to stop it before it happens is the goal) but I'm starting to understand when others are in a part as well which makes me more empathetic and understanding towards behaviors that don't correspond with that person's "normal" self.

So today is a totally good day. Today, I feel like God is walking next to me... which is probably a good thing because I like having Him next to me instead of being carried all the time.