Baptism

Last Tuesday (November 18th), I got the immense privilege of being part of a baptism for an incredible woman. This is one of my greatest friends - her testimony is one that deeply touches my heart. She truly has abandoned herself to Him.

She asked me to baptize her. It was an honor to be able to do that. My heart still soars to think about it. She chose me for many reasons but mostly because I've seen her walk first hand and I loved, encouraged, and helped her through it.

If you knew her walk, her dusty road marked with failures and triumphs, with mis-steps and crawls... a walk filled with tears and fears and anxiety and sadness... well, if you knew her walk, you'd be so proud of her too.

God was there with her the whole time. The entire time He watched as she grappled at the world, seeking refuge from it through it. He watched as she doubted Him... He watched as she found glimmers of light but still refused to allow her self to fall into into. He watched as she committed and committed again to live "right"... then... He was with her when she realized what it meant to live in His grace.

Grace is a beautiful place of imperfection and hope. It's a place of healing.
She is healed.
She is His.

The Teenage Years

Happy birthday, Peanut!

You are 13 years old today! An official “teenager”.

I might just cry… alright, honestly… I did. I have and I might continue over the next few days.

You see for me, this is a huge deal. It’s a huge deal because you have entered this new stage in your life. One of the shortest phases of your life, but one that has big, big impacts. You see your teen years shape you for your future. Your experiences, your friends, your school, your culture, your faith – all of this will impact the man you will become. And that is a pretty big deal.

Know that I will be on my knees in prayer more now than ever.

Do I fear for your future? No. Because I know who it belongs to. But I will be praying for you, that as you grow, you will gain confidence and trust yourself more than you trust theirs. That you lean on Him more than them. That through this crazy time in your life that you will look up instead of forward, because He truly does hold the key to your future.

I will fail you time and time again in the next few years – we all will. But He won’t. I tell you this because I remember feeling gross and weird and different than everyone else and you know what? It’s ok. It’s ok to be different. It’s ok to stand up for what you believe. It’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to not do what everyone else is doing. It’s ok to “miss out” on stuff you don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s ok to be you.

Just be you, Peanut, because “you” rock.

You see the world in a different light. A more mature, complicated way. You ask the tough questions. You don’t settle until your little soul feels at peace. It’s the most frustrating thing ever, and it’s the best thing you could ever do. Don’t stop.

You will also be faced with some really cool opportunities. Don’t turn them away. Be a leader, jump in, be a part of the change in the world. I believe you will do great things in this world – make a difference, you have so much to give.

I’m excited to see what these teen years have to offer you… to see you grow… to hear you with a different voice… to hug your taller-than-me body… to see you fail and to see you thrive…

I love you so very much, Peanut. Happy 13^th birthday!

I love you,
Mom

Stepping Down

I am stepping down.
I am stepping down.
I am stepping down.

I am stepping down.

Those are some really hard words for me. I'm not comfortable walking away from things.
I am loyal. I am a bit stubborn. I am a servant.

But I am stepping down from leading our church's campus for Women's Ministry.
I will stay on board for the all-campus one (I was serving in both places), but for the campus specific one...

I am stepping down.

I'm in a place in my life where bedtimes are later and we have three kids who want and need my physical presence more than ever. I am not just the chef, the chauffeur, the homework checker, the boo-boo kisser... I am the listener and that might just be my most favorite job of them all.

I need to be more present to listen. To hug. To love. To pray.
So I am stepping down.

In the grand scheme of my volunteer world, Women's Ministry is a small part of it, but it's a part that takes the most time. Over the past year, I have been slowly shifting my focus to the children/student ministry - because that's my life right now.

So I am stepping down from one leadership position, but not out of ministry all together (I'd be lost if I did). It's not been an easy decision. It's one I've been praying about for 2 years, but it is one I feel peace.