My grandmother was my age when she died. She left 6 kids behind – 13 to 1, my mom was 12.
My mom was sent to a boarding school with her two other sisters. The boys stayed home and my grandpa, an entrepreneur, hired a nanny. Three years later, he married the nanny – my Mimi.
I love my Mimi and my mom loves her stepmom too. She’s a sweet lady who has had her shares of trials. She’s got a tender heart and she gives the sweetest hugs and is one of the least judgmental people I know. There are lots and lots of kind and tender things about her. She loves the Lord, she is funny, she is comfortable with who she is, and she loved my grandpa with her whole self. I love her to no end. She’s the only grandma I know (my dad’s mom passed away when he was 12 too) and I wouldn’t change a thing. In the end though, she knows and my mom knows, she’s the “stepmom” and it’s just not the same.
My mom and I talked about this last week. About her fear of offending my Mimi because my momma misses her momma. She always has and always will.
She was cautious, almost unsure of her words when talking about her feelings. I tried my best to put her mind and heart at ease.
Mom - I get it. Mimi is not your momma.
She's your stepmom.
She loves you like crazy. She would fight big bad ugly mean guys for you. She prays for you. She loves you for who you are. She is one of your biggest fans. She has seen you at your worst and at your best. Her heart break when yours breaks. She's an encourager, a listener, a defender, a friend, a guide, a piece of your heart...
... But she isn't your mom.
I know this because I am a stepmom. It's one of the most challenging and lovely jobs I have ever had the pleasure of doing. But it's clear what I am and what I am not.
And Mimi knows that too.
And from the perspective of this stepmom...
She knows where your heart belongs, right where it should.
With your momma.
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