Step-Parenting

I find step-parenting difficult.

Not for the reasons you might suspect.
I find step-parenting difficult because I have so much love for A that I could easily love her just like my own... but I can't. Because she's not. She has a momma and she doesn't need me to be that to her.

She needs me to be a mentor, a confidant, an extra shoulder to lean on, to love her, to hang out with her, to buy her the stuff she'd die if her dad had to, the one who "gets" her. But not a parent.

We're not the full time house, we're the weekend house. We don't have a full grasp of her reality. We experience school, home life, friends, car-pool through her eyes, not our own.

Sometimes it's difficult because the line is fine and sometimes I wobble back and forth depending on her needs. I don't want to overstep any boundaries, I don't want to hurt feelings, I just want to do what A needs from me at that time. Whatever that may be.

On the flip side of the uncertainty, boundaries and feelings is a super fun side. I get to plan fun times, create sweet memories, and show her a different culture and way of life.

I do find step-parenting difficult... because I have so much love for her and managing that is difficult.