I'm not sure if this is new to you or not but for me, I've heard it either in therapy or running around in my head for the past 2 years...
I'm not a good wife/mom/daughter/girlfriend because I do this and this and this... Because I'm a good wife/mom/daughter/girlfriend, I do this, this, and this.
It's such a hard concept for me to grasp, it dissolves expectations which in turn minimizes disappointments. It also frees me from so many different pressures, pressures I inflict on myself. Pressures no one asks of me.
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