Forward, Good, Mature

Life has been overwhelming and good lately.

Overwhelming because I've confronted things that were not fun.
Good because I am learning and growing and maturing.

We drove to our meeting place to discuss the conflict. I took deep breaths. Asked him to talk to me to distract me. We got there. I prayed for peace to fill my heart and head. We all talked. All 6 of us. We found a resolution. I left feeling conflicted peace. The past tells me to be un-trusting but the Holy Spirit tells me to let go and move forward.

And so I choose forward.

Our home is filled with doctor appointments lately. Broken ankle, concussion, and physical therapy. Three kids. Three ailments. Two tired parents.

We don't see each other enough, B and I. I crave his presence and he mine. We talk briefly, text silly things, IM throughout the day and meet each other in bed at night. His hand slips on my right hip. He's there with me.

And so I choose the good.

Life is full of these emotional ups and downs. Jesus, husband, kids, job, dog... life. Throughout the day there are millions of things I face and all of them require a part of me. I choose to let them hit me face on and use the sting of reality push me toward Him and His open arms.

And so I choose to mature.

It is a choice, you know. How you manage life. Sometimes the choice is so hard. Sometimes you need your husband to listen and validate and sometimes you need him to tell you, you're a complete idiot and to start counting your blessings. And then there's God who continues to pour out all these crazy ridiculous gifts and you don't really understand why because you're super un-derserving and whiny and irritable.

It's a choice. To move forward, to look for the good and to let it mature every single part of you.