44 years of life

And so Monday marked your 44th birthday.

Would you believe me if I told you my heart aches for the years I didn't get to celebrate your birthday with you? It seems strange to me that you've celebrated with others for some years, on your own for others and now with me. We've lived lives without each other and your birthday brings those thoughts to the surface.

44 years on this planet. 44 years of joys and pains. 40 of those years were without me. 40 years of others knowing you before me.

I choose to focus on the now. The you and me. The you more than the me. Your mine. All of you.
For the next 47.5 years (remember, I told you, we're going to celebrate our 50th together)it's you. You. You. You. And if it's anything like the last 4 years... it's going to be good.

In the past 4 years your heart and mind have kept me captivated. Your thoughts, your words (as few as they are at times), your smile, your heart, your smell (delish!), your laugh... it's captivated my heart and soul.

This past year has brought on challenges neither one of us were prepared for, but we did it. We're doing it. It's not been fun, but it's been a growing experience. We see each other in a different light. We rely on one another differently then we ever thought possible.

So yes, others have had you for longer than I... but I think I've got you during the best time. The then, the now, the when.

I love you, B. I love you more than you'll ever know.
me