Recommit {again}

It's Friday and I'm watching 2 of my 3 kids playing at the local gymnastics place.

Time is flying. Too fast. So fast that it leaves my body feeling worn out.

Every week I recommit to spending more time in the Word. More time with God. Resting in Him. But each week I fail. After I put the last kiddo to bed, I don't want to think. Or connect. Or keep my eyes open.

I say a quick prayer. Think about my failure to Him, to me, to us. And I sleep.

Someone once told me that God understands our seasons. Like friends. I can understand that. I believe it. S and I haven't connected in a long time. Our lives are a ridiculous mess of busy. Busy with good stuff, but still too busy for each other.

I understand seasons. But I also understand love.

Relationships need to be nurtured and loved... and this relationship isn't. And my relationship with God is the same. It's stale, at best, and is doing nothing for anyone.

It's out. I said it. My relationship with my Father is not ok. And tonight, on this Friday night on this very last day of November, I recommit to being His with everything in me. Because the truth is... If I'm too busy, too tired, too worn for God and for the relationships I truly treasure... I am not living the life He intended for me.