Limbs

They left on Christmas morning after opening their gifts and I won't see them for another "2 more sleeps", a total of "5 sleeps".

I miss them. I miss them like crazy.

I'm struggling this week because I'm realizing that they aren't just my blessing but a blessing I share with their dad. I've always known that but this week has helped me to better understand it. Their dad is now in a better place, a more stable place, to be able to take them for longer periods of time. I'm excited about this. I want the kids to experience time with him. I want them to form a special bond and life with him. They need that. He needs that. Having extended time with him helps provide that.

For 9 years I've taken care of dropping them off, picking them up, putting them to bed, feeding, making appointments and play dates for them. I haven't had to share that a whole lot. Sure when I was married there was some input, some help but essentially it fell on my shoulders and how I loved it. I was born to be a mother. To be surrounded by chaos and booger filled noses and slobber kisses.

Letting someone else (even their dad!) do it, even for just a week, is tough. Waking up in the morning and only having to worry about myself is odd. I feel like a limb is missing. Two actually. But I rest in knowing that those limbs are growing because they are given the essential vitamins they need to be healthy and strong: two parents who love them very much and meaningful time spent with the both of them.