So I've been going back and forth for about 2 months now. I haven't wanted others' opinions so I didn't ask... for a while. I did last week and I heard the same thing from all "Heck no!". My question?
To celebrate the kids' birthday with or without their dad. In other words, one birthday party or two separate ones.
I struggle with this because I hear so many say "But you are divorced. That's not how it works when you are divorced." I get that. I don't see a whole lot of those happening with my fellow divorce friends, however... I hate the "shoulds".
Yes, he and I have struggled and still at times struggle to see eye to eye on things. But if my only reason not to have a united birthday party is because "Every one else does it this way or that way." -- that's pretty lame. And in my heart it doesn't make sense. So we are divorced. Our marriage is over. Kaput. I get that. The kids get that. But we're still their parents and if we can show a physical united front on their birthday, that's pretty special for them, isn't it?
We discussed it today and I wanted to hear his argument on the issue. The thing is, I couldn't come up with anything other then "But we're divorced."
Am I wrong to think this could work?
Catching up on your blog. No, you're not wrong. And a united front is what the boys need, I think. I was impressed to see you guys sitting together at the preschool graduation.
ReplyDeleteHubby's parents divorced and they stayed united. He still talks about how much that meant to him.
I'm thankful I'm not in your shoes, but here's my two cents. I don't think you are wrong to have a bday party for your beautiful boys with their Dad present IF...you set some ground rules with Rod and the boys before you do it. The boys need to understand that your marriage is over but both of you still love them totally and always will. And with Rod, I'm assuming "B" will be there and that might be awkward for both so you may need to set up some guidelines for conversations/interactions, etc. Good luck and I'll be praying for you. But if anyone can do this for her boys, it's you! Love you bunches!
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