Trust

This is from my devotional on June 20th...

Those who are attentive to a matter will prosper, and happy are those who trust in the Lord. ~Proverbs 16:20

Trust is like faith. You cannot see it; you just do it. It must be given. Here are some other words from the thesaurus for trust: confidence, belief, credence. To trust is to "depend on, rely on, bank on, build on, count on." You cannot trust without moving out of your head. You cannot depend on someone or build on something with mere knowledge. The soul must be part of the equation. The words call us to action, not inspection. The word on is significant as well. You can't merely rely. You can't depend on yourself. You can't build in air. There is a requirement of someone or something else that moves us out of ourselves.

We can know, yet not do. We can gather facts, and give nothing in return. We can observe all day long without ever caring. But we do not trust if we don't care. We do not give to something if we don't trust it. And if we say we trust the truth, and yet we do nothing with it, it reveals we have not trusted it at all. Trust requires something of us. Trust holds the feet of knowledge to the fire of action.

I'm really enjoying this devotional. I started reading it in February and 7 out of 10 times it seems to be exactly what I need to hear for the day. It applies to where I am in my life.

It seems that the thing I struggled the most these past 10 years with in my walk with God is... trust. I give my trust easily to others but to God... trusting Him with my life, now that's an entirely different story. Maybe it's because I know people are flawed, sinners just like me and that they will make mistakes - that's one thing I know for sure is true and I can count on. But God? What if He lets me down? Trusting Him with my entire life means risking Him letting me down and if He let me down, that would surely kill parts of me I can't bear to lose.

It was a Monday last winter when I sat in the office with D and as we talked through my ugly "control" issues, I realized that those issues were based on fear. I trust others easily, if the trust is betrayed I try to control the relationship so that it won't happen again. Why then, is trusting God so much harder for me? He's never let me down. I feel His hand over my life. I feel Him guiding me. Why does it feel that sometimes I need Him to drag me instead of guide me because I'm terrified of the path He's guiding me on?

It's fear. It all comes down to fear.

Courage is required when trust is concerned. I am finding the courage to trust God with my entire life. It's a daily battle. I don't blame God for the hurts in my life. I can see how they were, as always, a blessing to me. Without hurt there is no growth - I understand that.

Trusting my Father is becoming easier (not effortless, however!), I realize that I'm reacting to stumbling blocks a lot differently than I used to. I am learning to not only to talk the talk... but walk the walk with Him as my guide.

Trust requires something of us. Trust holds the feet of knowledge to the fire of action.