Good Enough

It's deep within me.

I know where the words stem. 

I know His words are more important than the ones that tend to fill my head these days.

I know He loves me just as I am. 

But the other's words are strong. Pounding. 

No matter what.
I'm not good enough.

I can work harder, be nicer, serve more, love more, forgive more, be more fun... more... 

I will never be good enough.

his words hurt.

he's right.

I will never be good enough.

That's why He came. For me. I know His truths. I know what He says about me.

I am God's child.Galatians 3:26

I am Jesus' friend.John 15:15

I am God's Incredible work of art.Ephesians 2:10

I am totally and completely forgiven.1 John 1:9

I am created In God's likeness.Ephesians 4:24

I am the salt of the earth.Matthew 5:13

I am the light of the world.Matthew 5:14

I am greatly loved.Romans 5:8

I know those truths and the many others written in His word.

So why do I get sucked back into Satan's? Why do I act like a 5 year old and wallow in my "I can do this by myself!" attitude just to end up overwhelmed and feeling less than good? Why must I meet everyone's need to appease my weary soul? Why? Because when I do His will, Satan steps in and tries to shake my soul with lies that strike a chord.

It's at this time that my anxiety is at it's highest. When the words "No" have trouble making there way to my mouth. No means I'm too weak to do it. No means I'm failing. No means he's right. No means I'm not good enough.

And so I "do"more to work my head back to "good enough".

Every single freaking time.

I spent over a year in therapy and here I am again. Not good enough.

I fell off my grounded identity. Again.

I'm back to it, God. I'm back to You. I'm giving it back (although we both know that's just funny since I never had "it" in the first place). It's Yours. All of it. All of me. I can't be good enough, so I'm going to rest in being enough in You.