Broken is Broken

So there we are, getting ready for bed last night, watching a reality show about a pastor trying to rescue women out of sex trafficking (if you knew B, you'd know this is right up his alley - he's a realist married to a dreamer... what a match). During the course of the show, some women say they want to leave the life and some decide they don't or can't. And B turns to me and says "But who's helping the pimps?".

That right there, is his heart.

Would I have thought about the sick men controlling these women? No.
But he does. Because he sees them as sick as well, but heart sick, soul sick... not disgusting sick.

His words changed my perspective...

Broken is broken, regardless of how it manifests itself.

Surrender once more.

It doesn’t matter what life throws at you: divorce, adultery, medical problems, financial ruin, addiction. It doesn’t matter whether the storm was heaped on you by someone else or by your own acts of disobedience. The only thing that matters is what you do with what life gives you. No matter what the situation, God can—and will—redeem it for His glory. You must simply choose to surrender to the Resurrection and the Life.

You know when you feel convicted about things?

I've felt it a lot lately. Little things, medium things, big things... The Holy Spirit is working hard on me and I know the answer to His push... surrender.

I only notice I've put me ahead of Him when I realize I need to lay it down and surrender... once more.

Here we go again.

Who Would You Save?

You asked me a question the other night before we jetted off to another baseball practice.

"I'm going to put you on the spot. Because you only have two arms... if the three of us were in terrible danger and you could only save two, who would it be?"

Interesting... since I've thought of this before. I think every mother does. But yours isn't a typical question and we both know it... you followed it up by pointing at the other two and saying "I know it would be them."

This question didn't faze me or cause me anxiety (you guys can throw out some doozies!). I answered honestly.

"I would save you all and give myself as a sacrifice or jump to my death to save you."

That's the truth. I love you all more than any of you can comprehend. But let's be honest - this wasn't a clean question... this one had tons of dirty little tenticles of doubt and hurt and insecurities. This one was deep.

You, sweet child, are one of the most amazing gifts God has given me. I don't pretend to be what I'm not, but I give you my word that every fiber of my being would fight to the death for you - for your soul, for your heart, and for your head. You own a big chunk of my heart. Don't let biology mess with your head.