The scariest thing ever

As the kids get older, the more terrified I become.

I am terrified that I am totally messing them up.
That am not taking my responsibility seriously. Or as seriously as I should.

I am the example. I am the one who's words they believe. I am the one who's action they watch and mimic. I have a huge impact on their lives. Their souls. Their everything.

I am their mother.

It's the scariest thing ever.

I find myself repeating to them that I am not perfect. That I make mistakes. That I give it my all but even that's not enough. But we must all rely on God's grace, mercy and love because THAT is enough.

I pray and pray that they feel my love.
That when my words fail, that my love finds their soul.

I am a human with free will and all kinds of sin creeping all over me. I need some serious Jesus and I can only pray that they see my forever love for Him and that that action covers all of my failures and heals the pain I sometimes unwillingly cause their little hearts.