Lately

I've been emotional. For a few weeks I blamed it on my period... but there's only so much of that I can get away with. I went back to my "therapy mode" and thought things through. Then I remembered something S repeated to me over and over this past year. Something she said I'd been stuck in for several years. Something she said, that took "me" away.

Survival mode.

I was in survival mode for about 4 years and my survival mode does not take emotion well. My survival mode only shows emotion in order to get a result. My survival mode kicks some serious butt and takes names later, way later... if ever. And for about 6 months my survival mode has been melting away and that stupid crap emotional stuff has been coming back.

I'm kinda liking it.

I'm emotional and illogical and I change my mind about where and how things should go from minute to minute. I cry more often, my passions are stronger, I love harder, I laugh more often and I find wonder in everything. It's just me.