My People

As I approach our move to Florida and away from the only family I’ve had for nearly 20 years, my church family, I thought I would take this opportunity to reflect on how the church has done just that.

I moved to the USA in 1999, at 18 years old, with little sense and a very shaky faith. When I started attending Legacy Christian Church 3 years later, I never intended to stay. I was just visiting to appease my sister-in-law. Little did I know I would not only fall in love with the people, but its where I’d fall in love with God.

The moment worship started, I was mesmerized by the preaching, the music, the people. This was nothing I’d known before. The people stayed after church to talk, laugh, and cry with one another – the kids ran around all over and laughed together. These people were living life together. I hadn’t grown up in a church like that.

I joined the church and jumped headfirst into service. I served in the 2-year-old room and learned my Bible basics alongside toddlers. I tried my hand in the choir (not a strength), I set up and organized events, I helped clean the yard, I made cookies, I rocked babies, I joined a small group, and I lead others, I served with kiddos with special needs… I did all the things. This isn’t to brag because there’s lots I didn’t do and more I could have done. I say all these things because that’s how my family came to be. That’s where I met my people and that’s where my people led me to Jesus.

My people came along side me as a new(ish) wife and momma and guided me with grace and love. My people sent me cards and meals after a miscarriage and threw me a sweet baby shower for my rainbow baby. My people loved me through heartbreak and divorce and celebrated with me through dating and remarriage. My people have prayed for me, for my family, for people they didn’t know – for me. My people have mentored my kids from birth to young adults – through the ugly and the good. My people have brought me meals for a month while our family focused on our three new foster kids. My people have seen me at my very worst and choose to love me like I’m always at my very best.

Have my people let me down? Yes. Has the church leadership frustrated me at times? So much. Are there times I wasn’t sure these were my people? Yes. But I stayed. Because they are my people. Because like them, I have big ugly warts and imperfections all over my broken self. Because at the center of it all, always stood Jesus. Because when you know the heart of the church, when you know the heart of your people, is good, so good – that heart will always point you to your Heavenly Father and it did, they do.

So how has the church has blessed, supported, and impacted me? Over the past nearly 20 years, the church has continually pointed me to Christ, loved me with grace and mercy, and has truly been the hands and feet of Jesus.

I am now and will forever be thankful for my people.

For just as we have many members in one body and all the bodies do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. - Romans 12:4-5

Removing our Filters

There's been a lot of social unrest in the past few weeks... years... centuries... since the start of time.

Currently our world is watching as another minority group fight for equality. This seems cyclical. When this dies down, another group will rise because they will find their voice and stand up for their rights.

From the beginning of time good people have fought for justice, to take back this great power for themselves or for those they see as oppressed. These strong and passionate people not only talked about the injustice but changed the future. Laws were created to protect children from abuse (1974/USA), to abolish the suffrage of women (1920/USA), to abolish slavery (1865/USA), to overturn the prohibition of interracial marriages (1967/USA),  to protect LGBT workers from being fired based on sexual orientation or gender identity (2020/USA), to allow children with developmental delays to attend school (1973/USA), and more. 

God's Holy Word tells us that the Israelites wanted a King because the judges that were over the people, were not doing what God required and were compromised and accepting bribes—perverting justice rather than upholding the righteousness of God. And eventually, a great number of those Kings became corrupt for the same reasons. A quest for power. Not much is different today. It may not be Kings but it's majority groups and people in power. Not ALL people... just some. Enough. 

The world constantly attacks, defends, loves, and hates, through filters.

We all have filters. We see the world the way we have experienced it. It seems that if things don't align with our filters, our minds make it wrong because like a computer, it doesn't know how to handle an unexpected action. Like computers, we see unexpected actions as errors. Something that isn't right, that has to be corrected... because our filters don't align with that action.

I'm a white Caucasian (almost) 40 year old mother of 2 bios, 1 bonus, and 1 foster children. I've been divorced. And remarried. I'm from a different country, but the same continent. I work full time. I am Christian. I'm middle class. I've never been hungry. I've never had the need to ask for government support. I have 1 sister. My parents are still alive. I have a parent who has survived cancer. I feel safe most of the time. I speak 2 languages. I work in a male dominated industry... I could go on and on. Those are MY filters. 

When I look at the world, I don't always understand the need for this fight or that fight because I've never been challenged by that cause. My internal computer has never faced any of those errors and so it doesn't process/think that they exist or that it needs to investigate it.

Do I understand each of the many filters that others experience? No. And I never will. And you won't understand mine.

So I'm trying my very best to be empathetic and listen and learn. I'm trying to remove my filters to better understand why people feel targeted and why they target others. I'm trying to remove my filters to better understand why those who feel offended by comments made by a few people generalize their response to a larger group. 

I'm trying to understand. I want to understand.

To help me understand, I need to safely say my words and not be attacked. I need you to provide me grace and hear my heart. I need for all of us to stay curious in a quest to love and honor each other.


In order for change to happen we need for filters to be lifted, for hearts to be open, for ears to hear, and to allow our God to lead us to freedom. 

Half a Century of Life

Brian isn’t on social media and rarely does a person get to publicly brag about their spouse so I’m taking this opportunity to do it today.

Brian and I met through E-Harmony about 10 years ago. His profile picture was nothing great… really, I could barely make out his face, it was the way he answered the following question that had me. It said “What inspires you?” and he answered “My sister and her family, because they live for the Lord.”

That’s when I knew I wanted to meet him and his family.

I asked Brian how he knew he wanted to meet me… and he answered “Because you were cute and you wanted to talk to me.” So there’s that.

It saddens me to know that I’ve only been able to be part of the last decade of his life because there’s a ton I’ve missed out on.

I missed out on his childhood… Brian is the youngest of three kids, there’s Barb, then Bob, and then Brian. In the past few years I’ve gotten to know them and hear stories about their childhood. It’s pretty all-American and to this Canadian, it sounds fascinating. Bob did tell me that Brian went through a bit of an exploratory stage as a kid, flushing his Winnie the Pooh down the toilet and then later one turtle… Bob suspects it was more than one… Ryan, you might to watch him a bit more around your turtle…

And then there were glow in the dark superball wars in the basement in Minnesota. Brian, you know the kids are going to want to know the details of this later!

I missed out on his teen years… Brian was a natural athlete, found his love for rock and roll, was a popular kid, court warming king, had plenty of friends, nice to everyone, and had a very busy social life. You know… the kid 1980’s teen movies center around.

I missed out on his early adult years… working a few jobs to keep up with his shampoo consumption… and I missed out on Amelia’s earlier childhood years…

During those early adult years, Barb and her family along with others prayed hard that Brian would come to Christ. While living in California, in 2007 Brian accepted Christ into his life. I truly believe his sister and so many others who had been praying for him diligently for years have a huge hand in his Salvation story and for that, I am so grateful. In 2008 Brian moved back to Kansas City and was baptized. Oddly enough a little boy he would meet 2 years later, and a few miles away made the same decision on the same day.

I did miss out on a lot but I truly believe God’s plan is the best plan. And to be honest, had we known each other during some of those years, it would have been illegal to date anyway.

Meeting in 2010 was God’s perfect timing for both of us. March Madness had just wrapped up and baseball was about to start in a week. Brian was bored and I was dared by Todd to join E-Harmony so we jumped on over a free weekend and started chatting...

Brian, I’ve seen you grow in all kinds of different ways in the last, nearly 10 years. When we first started dating you told me you were always willing to learn and grow and I truly appreciate that, but you had much more to teach.

For example, who knew that nearly every conversation can include a story about Everybody Loves Raymond or Friends? I’ve also learned that the dishes need to be washed before being put in the dishwasher to wash and that there is a secret way to load the dishwasher that the 5 other people in the house are incapable of understanding. I’ve also learned that I have not truly mastered the art of a Beste Bargain and that maybe, just maybe I’ll someday be able to shop like you do. You’ve also taught me that there are sports on tv every single day at every single hour. That’s kind of mind blowing. And that visiting baseball stadiums is actually a thing people do… repeatedly. And lastly, you’ve taught me that sarcasm is an art, one that shouldn’t offend me but that I should embrace.

You’ve taught the kids that lectures can really only have one point, and that point can and should be repeated for a large amount of time. That QuikTrip really does have everything they can possibly need, that courtesy flushes are a must, that they should learn something at school, and that they need to know their audience.

And then there are things you have learned from those around you…

6 years ago you joined a Saturday morning men’s group – you wanted a group of guys to keep you accountable and be in community with. Not only do you share your lives together, but I have seen you grow as a father, husband, and leader because of them. You guys share stumbles and successes and rumor has it you’ve been known to talk about your favorite and sometimes expensive underwear… Either way, I’m thankful for these guys who love and support you.

We both know step-parenting is challenging and rewarding all at once and you’ve embraced the good and the bad. You love the boys like your own, whether they want you to or not. You’ve invested yourself in their lives – all of it. You’ve walked through the highs and lows with me and you’ve been my steady when I wanted to flail around. I know I don’t make it easy on you and I’ve given you plenty of outs, but you’ve stuck through it because you believe in our family, all of it.

Brian, thank you for living the story of the prodigal son and for coming home to your heavenly father over a decade ago. You opened up your heart to me in a time where you were still discovering what that looked like. You trusted me with your story of redemption and grace and I am blessed because of it. You truly are my very best friend.

Oh… and you’re hot and I love you more. Happy birthday, Brian!